When your body needs rest but your mind is speeding ahead

Full disclosure? My body and brain are pretending to be Rachel and Ross, on a break, not on a break. 

Mentally? We’re actually thriving. It’s like an overflowing fountain. I’ve finished Chapters 10 & 11 of my book, and Chapter 12 is already underway. Apparently, the creative division is shotgunning ideas. 

Physically? It’s like when a child wants to help their parents do something but the parents know it’s going to end with sleeping through the night? Yeah that’s where I am.

My workplace does a walking challenge twice a year, and I’ve participated in it for the past few years. Which I enjoy! But paired with an increase in my physical activity, and some questionable sleep patterns, I’m feeling a little like a stepped-on flower–this week.

My body seems to have reached a unanimous conclusion that trying to better my health is actually just a personal attack. 

Not to mention, my neck decided to tag in with some complaints of its own. 

 So here I am, mentally stacked with ideas and excited to be working on something, while physically feeling like I should go back and fight my daycare self for fighting naptime. 

It’s really a strange combination, and honestly, it seems like when I’m in this state, the only thing to do is lean into the creativity and hope it’s enough to get a second wind.  

Though making progress in one area of my life and feeling like I need to slow down in another? It’s a vibe. 

My tiredness doesn’t look the way I expected it to. 

It’s not that I don’t want to do anything. It’s actually the opposite, honestly. My brian has decided that right now, at this moment, is the perfect time to be productive, have ideas, work on my book and think about approximately twenty other things I could be doing. 

My body, on the other hand, would very much like to get a restraining order. 

Which I regret to inform you is a little inconvenient when you have a day job, responsibilities, and a never-ending list of things that aren’t magically going to complete themselves. 

Clearly my body is shouting “You’re not in your teens anymore!” 

That’s a bold statement if you ask me. 

Then there’s the sleep situation, which is about as helpful as a decaf coffee. It’s hard to feel refreshed when your quality of sleep is questioning its own existence. Add my increase in physical activity, and suddenly even typing an email seems to require a little more effort than usual. 

Meanwhile, Chapter 12 is doing its best to cheer me on from the nosebleeds. 

Honestly, a little ridiculous maybe? I want to keep going. 

I want to write. I want to see where my story takes the characters. I need to get these ideas out of my head and onto the page before they pull a houdini and disappear into the mysterious void of forgotten ideas. 

But wanting to do something and having the physical energy to get it done are two vastly different things. 

I’m still trying to figure that part out. 

In my experience, there’s a strange expectation we give ourselves when we’re motivated to do something. When motivation appears, we should be able to do it without question. Or getting excited about a project means we should have the energy to work on it, immediately. 

Trying to build better habits? We should be able to stick to them without our bodies staging a full-blown coup. 

And on paper? Absolutely. That sounds amazing. 

In practice? The human body always wins. 

I’m honestly enjoying Walktober. It’s nice to have a goal to work toward, and I like knowing I’m making an actual effort to be more active. But that doesn’t mean my body will adjust overnight, especially when my sleep is mimicking a newborn’s. 

My book? I’m unbelievably excited for it. The progress I’ve made feels good, and I don’t want all the momentum to fade away because my body is running on empty. But I also understand, much to my reluctance, I can’t expect every day to be a win. 

Some days, I’ll have the energy and time to write several pages. Other days, just getting through feeding myself might be enough of an accomplishment. 

And for me, I think that’s where I get caught up sometimes. When I’m excited about something, I want to keep going. I want to see the progress, cross things off the list, and feel like I’m moving forward. 

Sadly, my enthusiasm did not take after the ever-bouncing Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony. 

Which, with a little thought, feels a bit like plot armor failure, if you ask me. 

Maybe that’s something I need to learn to remind myself of a little more often. 

I can be excited about something, but that doesn’t mean I have to give it every ounce of energy I have. And just because I’m physically tired doesn’t mean progress has stalled. 

Sometimes, accepting progress is recognizing that I’ve finished two chapters and started a third. Sometimes it means closing the distance for a walking challenge, even when my legs would rather throw me to the wolves. 

Other times? Progress might look like admitting that I’ve hit my limit for the day and letting myself rest without feeling like I have to be doing something else.

I’m human. Of course I’m not going to have all the answers. I’m still figuring out how to balance all of that myself. 

I want to keep building healthier habits. I want to keep writing. I want to see where the story takes me, and I’m excited to keep discovering. 

But I also don’t want to get so caught up in everything that I forget I can only do all of this if I get enough sleep, enough recovery, and understand that sometimes the biggest achievement is existing without faking it. 

“My body might be running on power-saver mode, but my brain is apparently running an all-you-can-create buffet of ideas.”

Honestly, my brain and body need to have an all-out knockout brawl and find some kind of compromise. Preferable one where the creative department can flow while the physical department gets a paid vacation for rest. 

Because both departments are more stubborn than a mule. 

And maybe that’s okay. 

For now I’ll keep building Chapter 12, keep stepping, and try to remember that I don’t have to get everything done at once just because I’m excited about it. 

So if you’ll excuse me, I have a chapter to write, a walking challenge to dominate, and a very overdue date with my bed. 

More soon, 

Quill.