A completely unnecessary account of how four cats declared war on my sleep.

Yesterday was an innocent enough day at the start. 

I’d taken the day off for an appointment, which meant there was this rare moment of sleeping in. 

Everyone and I mean everyone, the cats, my mom, even the rooster. 

At the time, it felt like such a gift. The slow morning wake with nothing blaring in my ear. 

And maybe that should have been my first warning. 

Eventually, I had to roll out the warm blankets, feed the cats (outdoor ones included),  I finished getting ready and tossed a handful of treats to the cats before walking out the door. 

When I got to my appointment, I dropped my car off and went to breakfast with my mom. 

Can’t say I wasn’t excited to eat, until I was served some truly unfortunate coffee, questionable undercooked crepes, and magically some bacon that understood its job. 

Overall? I’d say pretty normal morning so far. 

Eventually, we decided to head home after a quick call to the dealership that couldn’t seem to say when to the car would be ready–fortunetly that meant before five this afternoon. 

At the time, I really didn’t think much of it.

Just a simple nap would be nice, given outside was going for the title of “Rain City” 

🚩Red flag #1 

This was my first mistake, to think a nap in the middle of the day would help. 

Later, after the nap, I woke up to two cats curled up on my lap, snoring away without a care in the world– of course I took pictures. 

Once everyone in the house was awake, we decided to watch some TV– The Closer, obviously. The Cats wandered around the house, playing with each other and basically entertaining themselves. 

No hissing.

No chasing.

No problems. 

Everyone was suspiciously content. 

🚩 Red Flag #2. 

Clearly at this point it’s safe to assume I’m fully involved in the delusion of a peaceful evening with my four cats. 

And unfortunately the beginning of an event I can only describe at…

Catonya 2026. 

It started around 11 o’clock PM. 

I wasn’t too concerned, simply because I had gotten to bed later than usual. 

I was crawling into bed, getting comfortable and fully expecting the house to settle for the night.

Apparently the cats hold veto power. 

One of them suddenly took off running.

Not the casual trot to my room for bed. 

Running. 

Down the hallways.

Around the table. 

Over recliners and across anything in their path.

The familiar thump-thump of little paws suddenly turned into a herd of wild horses barreling through the house. 

I paused. 

All of a sudden another sprint, still the concern wasn’t too high even yet. 

Cats get zoomies. 

I thought let them burn the energy now and sleep better. 

Apparently, I had forgotten who actually ran the house because the first sprint wasn’t the beginning of zoomies. 

It was the opening ceremony. 

“It was the opening ceremony.”

My bed, apparently, had been the designated parkour course. 

🚩 Red Flag #3.

One cat would sprint across the room, launch themselves onto my bed, bounc across it like it was a trampoline, and then disappear just as quickly as they came. 

Then another joined, hyped up by the chaos. 

At some point, one of them started running through the house with so much force they sounded less like a cat and more like a tiny engine. 

Vrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Down the hallway. Around the corner. Over the couch and back again. 

I was  beginning to wonder if my cats had been replaced with small recreational vehicles.

And while most of them seemed to be having the time of their lives, there was at least one who was apparently just as exhausted by this nonsense as I was… if not more. 

One of my chaos gremlins got just a bit too excited and decided to ignore the warning tail thump and airplane ears was just for looks. 

Smack  

A paw came out–no claws, thankfully. 

No dramatic fight.

Just a clear message. 

Enough. 

Honestly, I was even impressed by his display. 

12:00 AM

One cat began running.

12:30 AM

Apparently someone is learning parkour.

1:00 AM

Apparently, the entire house is the new parkour course.

1:30 AM

There’s now a full-scale battle happening somewhere outside my bedroom. 

2:00 AM

The bedside lamp is on and life choices are being questioned.

2:45 AM

I’ve accepted sleep is no longer an option. 

3:00 AM

The house had finally gone still, silence had finally taken over.

My eyes adjusted in the dark, I could make out three little lumps of fluff curled up nearby. 

I took a cautious breath, afraid to move. 

At this point even if I needed to pee, I wouldn’t risk waking them. 

Catonya 2026 was officially over. 

Or so I hoped..

The Morning After

I believe the next morning was Friday I think? 

Honestly,after the night I experienced, I wasn’t completely sure what day it was. 

I told my mom about the overnight racing event that had apparently taken place in our house.

Meanwhile, I was struggling to remove myself from the bed. 

My cats, however, had that wonderful glow of a being well rested. 

Because the moment I was awake, I was already hit with a complaint.

Breakfast was apparently late…

by one minute. 

They were polite enough to give me three seconds for my brain to kick start, before the meowing began. 

Apparently, Catonya 2026 had done absolutely nothing to impact their appetite or their ability to maintain a strict feeding schedule. 

The way their beady eyes stared at me from the bed and floor said they were more offended that I had the audacity to struggle to wake up. 

I survived the night. 

The cats? Already moved on, already plotting something new. 

And that my friends is what it’s like living with four cats. 

They may keep me up till three in the morning, turning my bed into a trampoline, and declare war on my concept of sleep.

But while I survived Catonya 2026

The cats remain undefeated.

“The cats remain undefeated.”

I just wish they’d consider letting me sleep through it once in a while. 

More soon, 

Quill