Lately I’ve noticed something about myself. 

Not in a obvious or even loud way—i wasn’t even aware of it up until maybe a week ago. 

It’s actually kinda funny, in that light bulb kinda way. 

There used to be a time when the thought would cross my mind — if he was around.

Not really for anything important— just because. Not a rhyme or reason behind it. 

But now? 

There’s no subconscious thought slipping in. 

There was a moment where it didn’t feel so quiet.

Where something shifted just enough for me to notice it.

Not anything big.

Just small moments that felt… off.

Like something that used to feel warm suddenly didn’t.

And for a second, I felt it.

That uncertainty.

That slight imbalance I don’t usually let myself sit in.

I think that’s what stood out the most.

Not what was happening — but how it was affecting me.

So I paused.

Stopped thinking about the “what ifs” and started paying attention to what was actually there.

And the answer wasn’t complicated.

It was just… clear.

Despite the disappointment that settled, it was also accompanied by a quiet sense of acceptance.

Since then, I’ve noticed something else.

He doesn’t weigh on my mind the way he used to.

There’s no urgency to check if he’s working.
No urgency to respond or communicate more.
No urge to go out of my way to see him.

And I think that’s what surprised me the most.

How something that once felt so present… can become so quiet.

In a way, it showed me something.

Not in a loud or obvious lesson — just something I noticed.

What feels right.
What doesn’t.

And if that’s what came from it…

I think I’m okay with that.

More Soon,
Quill

♡